Why the problem isn’t always the plan. Sometimes it’s the state you’re trying to plan from.
Sometimes we think we need a better plan. A clearer strategy. More discipline.
But often the real problem is something else entirely.
We’re trying to make important decisions – about our careers, our lives, our next direction – from a state of pressure, exhaustion, fear or overwhelm.
And when you’re in that state, even simple decisions can feel impossible.
What the window of tolerance actually is
The window of tolerance isn’t a complicated concept. But it changes everything once you understand it.
Think of it as a zone. Inside that zone, you can think clearly. You feel calm. You’re creative. You can reflect, connect and make good decisions.
Outside that zone – on one side is panic and overdrive. On the other is numbness and shutdown.
And here’s what most people don’t realize: most major career decisions are made from outside the window. From panic mode. From the urgent need to fix something, solve something, move something forward – right now.
Not because you’re weak. But because that’s how most of us were trained. To be problem solvers. To get things done. To not let problems sit.
The hangry example – and why it matters
The simplest version of being outside your window: being hungry.
When you’re hangry, you can’t tolerate much. Small things feel big. Other people feel impossible. And the solution is embarrassingly simple – eat something.
But in our careers and lives, the equivalent is rarely that obvious. We walk into high-stakes meetings running on no sleep, no recovery, no preparation for the emotional demands ahead. And then wonder why we can’t think straight.
The window of tolerance teaches us something important: the basics matter enormously. Sleep. Movement. Stillness. Connection. These aren’t self-care clichés. They’re the foundation that makes everything else possible.
Preparing before the storm hits
One of the most powerful things you can do is prepare your nervous system before a demanding period – not during it.
You know when the pressure is coming. A big presentation. A new team. A season of change. A difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding.
Most people walk into those moments already depleted. And then wonder why it feels so hard.
The leaders who handle pressure well have one thing in common: they have non-negotiables. Things they protect regardless of how busy it gets. Not because they’re rigid – but because they’ve learned that their ability to perform depends on it.
For some it’s no alcohol in the weeks before a major event. For others it’s daily movement, or a playlist that shifts their state in five minutes, or a phone call with a friend who fills them up before a hard day.
It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It has to be intentional.
The language shift that changes everything
One of the most practical tools from the window of tolerance framework is changing how you talk about what you need.
Instead of: I’m exhausted. Try: I need to rest.
Instead of: This is too much. Try: I need a break.
It sounds small. But it’s not.
When you say I am exhausted, you identify with the feeling. It becomes you. There’s nowhere to go from there.
When you say I need rest, you create a direction. You give the people around you something to help with. And you separate yourself from the state you’re in.
This works in teams too. When someone can say I’m outside my window right now – can we reschedule? instead of pushing through and making bad decisions – everything changes.
Building a tolerance team
Imagine a team where people could say: I’m not in my window right now. Can we help each other get me back?
That’s not soft. That’s strategy.
Because 60 to 75% of cross-functional teams are dysfunctional – not because of a lack of skill, but because people are operating outside their windows and nobody has the language to name it.
When someone is scared or overwhelmed, what brings them back isn’t logic. It isn’t solutions. It’s warmth and calm. Safety first.
You don’t need to hug your colleagues. But you can ask: what do you need from me right now? And mean it.
That question – do you need a solution, or do you just need to be heard? – is one of the most underrated leadership skills there is.
Who benefits from you staying outside your window?
Here’s the uncomfortable question: in the modern workplace, does dysregulation actually get rewarded?
When you’re in chaos, you’re easier to sell to. Easier to pressure. Easier to keep running on a hamster wheel without stopping to ask whether any of it is actually what you want.
The nervous system rat race is real. And there are systems – and people – who benefit from you staying in it.
Which is why asking from which window am I seeing the world right now? is such a powerful question.
The world might not be as chaotic as it feels. It might just be that you’re viewing it from outside your window.
The challenge
Before we wrap up – one thing to take with you.
Doing change in your life comes down to one question: will you take yourself seriously?
Not the plan. Not the strategy. You.
Block two hours in your calendar. Go somewhere quiet – forest, sofa, wherever works for you. And think about what you actually want.
Not what makes sense. Not what other people expect. What you want.
That’s not laziness. That’s the most important work you can do.
This post is connected to episode 30 of the Navyra podcast – a full conversation about the window of tolerance, what it looks like in practice, and how to build it into your work and life.
If you’re navigating a career crossroads and want structured support to figure out what comes next – explore the Navyra Program.
And for a short weekly letter with reflections, prompts and practical tools for ambitious professionals – join The Next Era Edit.
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